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Wait a minute, mom, 85, bursts into tears in the nursing home after being told daughter can't hug her


This is the heartbreaking moment when a mother stricken with dementia bursts into tears at the window of her nursing home after being told that her daughter cannot hug her due to Covid-19 restrictions.

The footage shows a big smile on Doreen Morris, 85, after seeing Tracy Gothard, 51, outside her care home in Bradford, West Yorkshire.

The great-great-grandmother asks Tracy to come in and move her hands, to which her daughter replies, "I can't come in, we're not allowed to come in yet because of this bad bug."

Tracy asks her mother to kiss her, but the retiree breaks down in tears instead.

The great-great-grandmother is then told that her daughter cannot get inside due to Covid-19 restrictions

The footage shows Doreen Morris, 85, with a smile on her face (left) after seeing Tracy Gothard, 51, outside her nursing home before being told her daughter cannot get inside (right).

The window meeting between Tracy and Doreen, who has been home for two years, was the first since August, when Bradford was placed under the third tier restrictions.

Tracy, a mother of two, said she posted the video in an attempt to change the "unhealthy" rules for visiting nursing homes.

She added, “When my mother comes out all she wants to do is hug me and put her arms around me, and I want to do the same.

“Because of her dementia, she doesn't understand why we can't do what you can see in the video – she wants me to go inside.

"It's heartbreaking to see her react like this. I feel just like her. I want to go in and cuddle her."

Tracy continued, “My mom had a life before it all, she went out all the time, she danced, saw the family and had a good time, now it's all gone.

"She is like a prisoner in her own house."

The 51-year-old filmed the clip in front of the Bierley Court Care Home on October 29.

Doreen pictured above with her daughter Tracy, who said she posted the video in an attempt to change the "unhealthy" rules on nursing home visits

Doreen pictured above with her daughter Tracy, who said she posted the video in an attempt to change the "unhealthy" rules on nursing home visits

Tracy said of her mom (above), "She had a life before it all, she'd go out all the time, she'd dance, see the family and have a good time, now it's all gone."

Tracy said of her mom (above), "She had a life before it all, she'd go out all the time, she'd dance, see the family and have a good time, now it's all gone."

Tracy said she "loves" the house and the staff, but there is a "problem with the system".

She added, "I want to go to my mother's house and show her that I haven't forgotten her, that I still love her."

Your suggestion is to have at least one family member tested for the virus and, if negative, be allowed into the house to see their loved one.

Tracy said, “I think this is the best way we need to see our elderly again one way or another.

“If workers in these nursing homes can take a test, come in, then I don't see why I can't too. I understand that security comes first, but we need to find a balance at the same time.

"My mother is deteriorating quickly, she is very depressed and worried about what is going on, although she doesn't quite understand why."

Describing her mother (pictured above) as a "fun-loving person" and "party animal", Tracy added, "She loves to be out and about and have fun."

Describing her mother (pictured above) as a "fun-loving person" and "party animal", Tracy added, "She loves to be out and about and have fun."

Tracy said she supports the Rights for Residents campaign, which seeks to visit care home residents with their families.

She added that she initially shot the video to send to the family so they could see Doreen, but she decided to share after seeing her mother's reply.

Tracy, who works in customer service at Yorkshire Water, said before Covid she would visit her mother, whose husband Danny died 10 years ago, every day.

The retired cleaning lady Doreen, who was diagnosed with dementia around 12 years ago, has seven grandchildren, 18 great-grandchildren and 6 great-great-grandchildren.

Tracy said, 'She is such a fun-loving person, she loves to get up and dance, she really is a little party animal.

"She loves to be out and have fun."

After the initial lockdown, they were allowed to visit the garden, but since August she has only been able to see Doreen from the nursing home parking lot and on video calls.

Tracy said, “We're facing another lockdown now, so who knows when we'll be able to see each other properly.

"Something has to change."

Nursing home visits must be OUTSIDE or through a window during England's second coronavirus lockdown, the government said

Nursing home visits must take place outside or through a window or screen during or after the second coronavirus in England, the government said on Wednesday.

Ad hoc face-to-face visits are not permitted, but homes can still find alternative ways in which relatives can meet with residents.

Visits had to be completely banned during the first wave in the spring as the virus devastated the care sector and officials feared they could not be safely organized.

Drive-through visits to nursing homes were allowed in some locations for part of the initial lockdown (Image: A visit to a house in Banbury, Oxfordshire)

Drive-through visits to nursing homes were permitted in some locations for part of the initial lockdown (Image: A visit to a house in Banbury, Oxfordshire)

Care organizations and Labor Party leader Sir Keir Starmer have campaigned to ensure that visits are still allowed during the second lockdown to avoid residents remaining isolated.

In its guidance, issued less than 12 hours before new lockdown measures were put in place, the Department of Health suggested that households could set up certain visitor pods with screens, visit through windows some distance away, or allow one-on-one conversations outside.

If this does not work, they should try to encourage more virtual visits.

However, critics said the rules "miss the point" and do not work well for people with dementia, who make up the majority of nursing home residents and many of whom do not understand or do not follow the rules.

Visiting outdoors is out of the question for most when the fall weather changes. Rain and falling temperatures are now the norm across the country.

Care England chairman Martin Green said it was disappointing that no better policy had been developed in the months since the initial lockdown.

He said, "We're really upset that a proper policy wasn't posted in time when a second lockdown was always planned."

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