A woman who created a 30-page Google Doc on lesbianism while questioning her own sexuality has amassed tens of thousands of online fans who helped her "I'm a lesbian" guide to help her navigate her own Attributing preferences.
Angeli Luz, 21, anonymously published a link to the public document for interviewing lesbians in a Tumblr post using the @cyberlesbian handle in January 2018. The 30-page text examines how social conditioning can lead to conflicts between lesbians Feelings and attraction to men.
"When I was a teenager, I realized that I loved women, but I never really knew whether my attraction to men was real or a social construct that I took as a facet of my identity," Luz told Vice.
Instructions: Angeli Luz, 21, anonymously published a link to her Google Doc "I'm a lesbian" in a Tumblr post in January 2018 using the @cyberlesbian handle
Reflection: The 30-page text begins with a section explaining mandatory heterosexuality, the idea that heterosexuality is rooted in birth from a patriarchal and heteronormative society
“I started researching mandatory heterosexuality and found that many lesbians had the same experience as me. I created the document as a tool for self-reflection for myself and others. & # 39;
It took Luz two days to write the document, which has received more than 30,000 notes on Tumblr.
It begins with a section explaining mandatory heterosexuality – the idea that heterosexuality in individuals is rooted in a patriarchal and heteronormative society from birth.
The term was popularized by feminist poet Adrienne Rich in her 1980 essay entitled "Mandatory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence".
In this section, Luz explains that women are “taught at a young age”, that their job is to please and fall in love with men.
Confused: The document examines how social conditioning can cause lesbians to have conflicting feelings and attractions towards men
Checklist: The penultimate section “You could be a lesbian if TL; DR ”contains a list of signs that a woman's attraction to men can be the result of mandatory heterosexuality
"Mandatory heterosexuality forces lesbians to learn the difference between what you were taught (to be with men) and what you want to be (to be with women), which is why so many lesbians eventually went out with men, & # 39; She writes.
Luz later notes that "many lesbians still struggle with mandatory heterosexuality, even if they know they don't want men."
The following sections better examine how cultural conditioning against heterosexuality can cause lesbians to have doubts about their sexual orientation, as this doesn't seem as clear as they think it is.
& # 39; attraction is super complicated. It is possible to see that a man is attractive but is not attracted to him, ”explains Luz.
“Attraction is often enforced through social conditioning, and some lesbians have a hypothetical attraction to men due to mandatory heterosexuality. But we never want to go out with a man or have sex. "
Go Viral: The document has been shared across all social media, including Reddit and Twitter. Many Reddit users praised the text for helping them when it was released last year
The thought-provoking text is casually written as if it were a blog post and contains many key points for self-reflection and analysis.
The penultimate section of the document “You could be a lesbian if TL; DR ”contains a list of signs that a woman's attraction to men can be the result of mandatory heterosexuality.
"You have the feeling that you can live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you cannot imagine doing something sexual with a woman," says one point.
"You lose interest in a man as soon as they seem to be interested in you," says another.
Luz told Vice that she had read personal reports from other lesbians to create the guide. While not including quotes in the text, she shares a list of lesbian Tumblr sites, many of which no longer exist.
Life changing: A number of women said the document made it clear to them that they were lesbians
However, the document has been shared across all social media, including Reddit and Twitterwhere it has received a lot of praise from fans who insist that it changed their lives.
& # 39; This is without a doubt my favorite Google document. I went through it and highlighted all the parts that fit me so I can look at it again if I ever find myself in a situation where I doubt myself, ”wrote a Reddit user last year.
"I remember asking for a long time whether I was a lesbian or not, and then I found a link to this masterdoc," said someone else.
“I read it during college class and ended up going to the bathroom to break sobs of relief when I realized I was dealing with almost every point and was a lesbian. Reading this masterdoc was like the biggest weight off my chest. & # 39;
A Twitter user shared a link to the document on June 1st in honor of Pride Month.
"Here is a Google document created by some lesbians our age to help women unravel the complexity of mandatory heterosexuality and attraction," she said. "A good read for anyone who is asking," Am I a lesbian? "
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