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No-nonsense personal trainer JAMES SMITH reveals his struggles with fear and fear of rejection


Online fitness trainer James Smith has shown how he uses his friends and his approach to life to fight anxiety

The "no-nonsense" personal trainer who became famous after taking over the fitness industry has shown that despite living his best life in Bondi and running a successful online fitness academy, he still suffers from fear and fear of rejection .

But James Smith, author of & # 39; Best Sellers & # 39; Not a Diet Book and newly published Not a Life Coach, follows his own advice – he focuses on what he can control, his business, happiness and personal drive.

When he sat down with Daily Mail Australia, he showed how stressful the start of his second book was – but he wasn't going to change anything.

“A lot of people work in jobs they're not passionate about and sell things they don't like. They do a great job doing something they hate but don't think they can do something they love well, ”he said.

Pictured here with his girlfriend Lucy Lord - one of the closest people the PT confides in

Pictured here with his girlfriend Lucy Lord – one of the closest people the PT confides in

James Smith currently lives in Bondi and loves nothing more than going for a swim on the beach

James Smith currently lives in Bondi and loves nothing more than going for a swim on the beach

“I love what I do and I never have a sick day. Even if I wake up with a hangover. & # 39;

This hasn't always been the case, the 31-year-old once thought the only way to make it out into the world was to put on a suit every day and work your way up the corporate ladder.

But then he realized that there was no point getting up the wrong ladder and decided to do something he loved instead.

So he changed his suit for shorts and became a personal trainer.

Pictured here again with Lucy and his best friend Diren Kartal - Diren is also an online fitness trainer who once worked with James in the gym

Pictured here again with Lucy and his best friend Diren Kartal – Diren is also an online fitness trainer who once worked with James in the gym

When that got boring, he packed up his life and ended up in Australia, where he later found great professional success and friends who felt like family.

These friends include his manager, personal trainer Diren Kartal, and baker Lucy Lord. You are the key to alleviating his anxiety.

"Most of the time, they're just giving me my own advice back, but it doesn't matter," he said.

These friends and his parents are the people he must consider "proud", which helps him work harder every day and ignore provocative comments from people who are only aimed at bringing him down.

How does James Smith deal with fear?

Despite his success, James Smith has shown that he is still afraid of rejection and fear – but he has armed himself and his readers with tools.

This list includes some of the things the well-known PT does to improve their anxiety.

1 – Confide in friends – "Whether it's the shirt I'm supposed to wear on a date or something really big, I can always tell a friend," he said.

2- Relax – James likes to go into the sea most days.

3 – Having hobbies – He enjoys practicing Jiu Jitzu and says that the sport has changed his life in many ways.

4 – Make sure your surroundings are right – be it your work, your home, or your social environment. The wrong environment inhibits personal growth.

5 – Build a Life You Love – The biggest message in this book is: Get rid of bad relationships and jobs that you hate so you can thrive and be happy.

He's still scared of rejection and says it will always be there. He said he still felt it, for example, when he asked for a woman's number.

But instead of allaying the fear, he focuses on making a small circle of pride. "If you are satisfied with what I do, I am happy, there are no limits because I can never make you too proud."

Each new challenge is faced with advice that he has gathered over the years and published in his new book.

Right now, the most pressing concern is James' inability to leave Australia without being locked out.

He cannot even return home to visit his parents for Christmas because he cannot return to his book tour until border restrictions are removed or he is granted permanent residence.

Although the 31-year-old cannot go home to visit his family this Christmas, he has chosen to focus on what he can control

Although the 31-year-old cannot go home to visit his family this Christmas, he has chosen to focus on what he can control

"I just want to live here, Australia is at the core of my happy life and I've never been to a place I've felt the same way."

FROM THE BOOK: ENJOYMENT AGAINST HAPPINESS

One important thing to realize is that there is a difference between pleasure and happiness. It's about instant and long-term satisfaction – understanding that happiness is a perspective, an attitude, and can be achieved with a certain mindset. With this perspective, you can pursue real wealth and it is better than just being rich. Pleasures can be evenings, expensive things, designer clothes and vacations. That's by no means bad – I mean, if you ever buy something from Gucci, the hassle that goes into packaging is sometimes worth the cost!

But you don't need pleasure. Sure it helps, but you need to be aware that it is a black hole that consumes everything in its path.

And since a black hole would increase in mass by absorbing whatever came towards it, in theory it would develop a stronger pull over time. This is not meant to stop you from seeking pleasure, just to give you an understanding of how I see it.

You can find satiety in many areas of life, but pleasure is one that you should be aware and careful of. If you seek happiness for the pleasure of gambling, drug use, and partying, you may lose sight of what makes you really happy and end up depressed, hungover, and broke.

From & # 39; Not a Life Coach & # 39; by James Smith. Page 174 – The Pleasure Black Hole.

The personal trainer says the visa situation made him feel like he was in limbo because if he can't live here, he'll need to find a place to live and thrive.

"I think if I got permanent residency I would kick myself," he said.

"I just want to live here, Australia is at the core of my happy life and I've never been to a place I've felt the same way."

James has had to reshuffle his book tour to put Australian dates ahead of the UK shows and is hoping his permanent residency application will be approved once he leaves.

The personal trainer says the visa situation made him feel like he was in limbo because if he can't live here, he'll need to find a place to live and thrive

The personal trainer says the visa situation made him feel like he was in limbo because if he can't live here, he'll need to find a place to live and thrive

The Briton will have to leave Australia in March and is hoping to be approved for permanent residence

The Briton will have to leave Australia in March and is hoping to be approved for permanent residence

He's going to take the stage for his new book - Diren will likely appear on the shows

He's going to take the stage for his new book – Diren will likely appear on the shows

Leaving the country will be his next leap in faith – in the meantime, he will have a summer Christmas in Bondi where he can "swim in the ocean", "skate down the hill" and hang out with friends.

The online coach, despite his success, seems to still lead a simple life and focus on his hobbies and friends.

He still rides the skateboard he bought before he got his "blue tick" and works in the same local cafe where he started his business and wrote his two books.

And because he "can't help it," he still reads the comments on the online posts, but has found that the negative no longer affect him too much – instead, he looks forward to those who thank him for his advice.