A mother provoked anger after she revealed that she was attending her youngest daughter's wedding despite "stealing" her older sister's fiancé.
The nameless mother who is believed to be from the United States explained the complicated situation on Reddit's thread Am I The A ******.
She revealed that her youngest daughter Hayleigh, 28, tied the knot with ex-fiancé Sam, her older sister Jennifer, and implied that the marriage came about after he cheated on her with her sibling.
But the mother was criticized for "taking sides" when she admitted that she hadn't even tried to encourage Hayleigh to break off her relationship with Sam over her sister and asked Jennifer to "forgive" the couple.
She added that the situation created a rift in her family who didn't spend Christmas together, and she would lead Hayleigh down the aisle because her husband was too disgusted and refused to give the union his blessing.
A mother provoked anger after she revealed that she was attending her youngest daughter's wedding despite "stealing" her older sister's fiancé. Image from a picture agency
The mother began her post by explaining that Jennifer's wedding to Sam was canceled because Sam was dating Hayleigh.
She said she asked Hayleigh to reconsider the relationship, "not only for her sister's sake, but also because" if he could do it once, he could do it twice ".
"I didn't want her to get hurt," she said. "She assured me that wasn't the case – that they were meant to be together and had known this for a long time, so I left it at that."
The mother went on to speak directly to Sam, who had apologized and said, "It wouldn't be fair to marry Jennifer if he knew deep down in his heart that he was in love with Hayleigh."
The nameless mom shared her story on Reddit, saying she told Jennifer to "forgive" Sam and Hayleigh
She argued, “I don't like the situation any more than my husband or Jennifer, but they don't understand that ignoring reality doesn't make it go away.
I asked my husband if he was willing to risk his relationship with Hayleigh by not leading her down the aisle. Jennifer accused me of trying to turn him over to my side. & # 39;
The mother added that Jennifer has "bitterly jumped from relationship to relationship" since the breakup because she was so focused on Hayleigh and Sam.
When confronted, she said Jennifer said that Hayleigh had purposely stolen Sam from her and done similar things since the girls were young, but the mother claimed she hadn't noticed.
She added that if Hayleigh had stolen Jennifer's fiancé, she would have done her a favor and encouraged Jennifer to go ahead and forgive.
Then she gave me an ultimatum. She said if I go to the wedding it means Hayleigh has been my favorite child all along and that she will never speak to me again, ”she continued.
I told her I was going to the wedding the way I would have gone to hers if she were in this situation. She said okay and hung up. Later my husband calls me from work and tells me that she called him cry. & # 39;
People criticized the mother for attending Hayleigh's wedding, saying she clearly preferred Hayleigh over Jennifer
In an adaptation of her original post, the mother said she wasn't sure Hayleigh and Sam were together behind Jennifer's back before the first engagement was broken off.
She added that she didn't tell Hayleigh that she was wrong about marrying Sam because "if she doesn't feel wrong at the age of 28, nothing I say will convince her otherwise".
The mother also said that she was not on Hayleigh's side, but “unconditionally” loved her two daughters and wanted to be present for their two children.
Many Reddit users criticized the mother's choices, accusing her of favoring Hayleigh over Jennifer.
"It's so sad that she's so scared of risking her relationship with Hayleigh that she doesn't even tell her she disapproves, but she doesn't care that Jennifer will never speak to her again," commented one.
Some people noted that the mother was wrongly viewing the problem and bullied Jennifer to accept the situation Hayleigh had created
Another wrote: & # 39; OP (original poster) wants your cake and should eat it too. She doesn't want to come across as the "bad guy" and choose a side. But this whole post is proof that she has chosen a side.
“She wants Jennifer to forgive and forget because it is more comfortable for her to pretend they still have the perfect family that recognizes that their daughter is a damn person who loves to cheat with her own sister's fiancé would.
& # 39; This isn't a Disney movie where "true love" conquers everyone. This is a grown woman who has made selfish and cruel choices and you need to stop bullying your other daughter to forgive someone who hasn't given two s **** about their own feelings. & # 39;
And one claimed the mother "deserved" to lose her relationship with Jennifer, writing, "I just can't imagine a parent trying to smooth the victim in order to maintain a relationship with the person who is the Caused problems. "
"The younger daughter is definitely the golden child of OP. I'm so glad the father has a good sense of purpose. I assume that the younger daughter's decision to cheat with her sister's fiancé doesn't just destroy that relationship but will also result in their parents' divorce. "
Meanwhile, another suggested, “You treat this as a relationship problem that Sam is involved in, and it isn't. It's about Jennifer being betrayed by her sister in the most personal way. As a mother, you can (and should) love and support Hayley as your daughter, but that doesn't mean condoning a relationship.
"She has to learn that such incredibly cruel behavior has consequences. One of them should be that she does not get her dream wedding with general acceptance."
And one claimed that they were most shocked that Mother did not tell Hayleigh that she was wrong, and wrote: “That honestly annoys me the most:“ Oh, I didn't tell her she was wrong because she didn't listen to me! ". Silence here is consent. It's mind-boggling that she doesn't understand."
And others said the mother was wrong for trying to smooth things over at the expense of Jennifer's feelings – although you could see where she was from.
“I agree to keep the family together,” they wrote, adding, “The easiest way to do this is to fire the one person who literally screwed everyone so badly that they are no longer a family. " Hayleigh can use her two bare hands to look for a needle in a mountain of needles for anyone who cares. Drop the dead weight and be a family with people who are decent to one another. & # 39;
(tagsToTranslate) Dailymail (t) Femail (t) Reddit