Gag about Cummings' lockdown-breaking Durham trip tops list of best Christmas jokes for 2020

1. What is Dominic Cummings' favorite Christmas song? Go home for Christmas.

2. Did you hear that Santa's workshop has stopped manufacturing? Many of his workers had to isolate elves.

3. Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights have been canceled.

4. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? You have herd immunity.

5. Why did the pirates have to be banned? Because the & # 39; Arrrr! & # 39; Rate had risen.

6. Why is it best to imagine yourself like a panto in 2020? Because at some point it will be behind you.

7. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their conference call? Because there was no zoom in the inn.

8. Why can't Boris Johnson bake his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn't know how many levels there should be.

9. What are the Trumps doing for Christmas dinner? They made a great spread.

10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home alone.

11. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never go to jail.

12. Why is Santa Claus not losing presents this year? He downloaded Sack and Trace.

13. How's the pandemic in my stomach after Christmas? It will take forever to flatten the curve.

14. How is Prince Andrew dealing with the stress of Christmas this year? Fine. No sweat.

15. Why was Rudolph not allowed to take part in vaccination trials? Because they only wanted guinea pigs.

16. Which government program supports the Christmas dinner? Eat Scion to Help.

17. How can you avoid speaking to your boss at this year's Christmas party? Mute it.

18. How does Santa Claus keep track of all the chimneys he has visited? He keeps a logbook.

19. Who dresses red and gives to the children this Christmas? Marcus Rashford.

20. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book home delivery.

Source: gold