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Experts show why women shouldn't be afraid to appear “difficult” and speak their minds


A British public speaking expert has revealed the six sentences that anyone can use to regain control of a conversation after a break.

Patricia Seabright shares her expertise in a new book she said! A guide for millennial women on speaking and hearing, specifically explaining that women should not be afraid to express themselves, even if they are perceived as "difficult".

She also gave tips on how to react if people keep talking about you and gave five sentences to help relieve tension and guide the narrative if interruptions arise.

A public speaking expert revealed the six sentences that anyone can use to regain control of a conversation after a break. Image from a picture agency

Patricia emphasized the importance of finishing your point even if you are interrupted.

"Notice if you ever feel silenced by interruptions," she said. “Notice it for what it is – an interruption – and just keep trying to argue.

“If you can't, challenge the interruption. Find some words and phrases that you are comfortable with to help reduce the interruption.

This needs to be done in your style and in a manner that you believe is most likely to be successful in your work context. Some examples could be:

  • "I would appreciate the chance to finish my point."
  • "Wait a second, please let me finish."
  • "Give me one more minute to end my point and I'll be interested in hearing your point."
  • "Wait a minute, I haven't achieved the good yet!"
  • "I am glad you are so happy to contribute, but please let me finish my thoughts."
  • "I'm sure you wouldn't want to interrupt me if I could finish my point of …"

Patricia explained that women and men are likely to be perceived differently in the workplace.

Patricia Seabright explains why women shouldn't be afraid to speak up in the workplace

Patricia Seabright shares her expertise in a new book she said! A guide for millennial women on speaking and hearing, specifically explaining that women should not be afraid to express themselves, even if they are perceived as "difficult".

Patricia Seabright shares her expertise in a new book she said! A guide for millennial women on speaking and being heard (right), which explains women in particular, should not be afraid to speak, even if it is perceived as "difficult".

"Women internalize the message that they have to be good girls, and if so, then the reassurance and rewards come," she said.

"This requirement for perfection is extremely strenuous and the phenomenon of burnout and illness in women is a growing problem."

She stated double standards like "a woman is bossy / a man is leadership" and "a woman is aggressive / a man is confident" prevents many women from expressing themselves.

Six sentences to help you recover from ANY interruption

  • "I would appreciate the chance to finish my point."
  • "Wait a second, please let me finish."
  • "Give me one more minute to end my point and I'll be interested in hearing your point."
  • "Wait a minute, I haven't achieved the good yet!"
  • "I am glad you are so happy to contribute, but please let me finish my thoughts."
  • "I'm sure you wouldn't want to interrupt me if I could finish my point of …"

"It doesn't matter if you are speaking one-on-one or in a meeting, presentation, or speech," Patricia wrote in the book.

"In order for you to be able to influence and stand up for yourself, your ideas, or your beliefs to get what you want and need, you need to speak to be influential."

However, she noted that it was more difficult for women to speak in front of crowds – be it during a team meeting or at other corporate events – because women were more used to being silenced than their male counterparts.

"Unfortunately, one common theme was that so many of these women often struggled to be ready and able to speak and express themselves at public and internal events and meetings," Patricia wrote.

"I have identified a consistent pattern of women finding ways to avoid speaking obligations. This ranges from just non-volunteering to speaking to a variety of creative reasons for delegating the task to junior colleagues."

"I come across women who are technically brilliant but feel speechless and unable to express themselves, even when they really need it."

Patricia added that when women found the courage to speak up during a meeting, they were more likely to be either yelled down or interrupted.

She said that "pleasant" people often didn't realize they were interrupting and would be ashamed if she pointed out.

Patricia said it was important to draw attention to interruptions and help other women overcome them.

"You can politely and calmly point out the interruption (without attacking the interruptor) if you notice this happening to a woman," she continued.

"For example," I don't think Mary had a chance to end her point, but it sounded like the beginning of a good idea. Mary, would you end your point? "

"This will raise awareness among people (both men and women) of the importance of non-interruption and will both encourage women and create a more positive environment for all."

She added that it would be helpful to keep track of who is dominating "airspace," otherwise known as who is talking the most about women and men in the same meeting.

"You can use this just for your own awareness and as encouragement to speak, or you can share it with coworkers to raise awareness of the airspace problem, which could encourage men to let more women speak, or maybe even invite them. "

She also encouraged women to volunteer or take up more public speaking offers.

“This can get you out of your comfort zone, but you realize that being in that comfort zone is a place of restriction that is doing you no favors. Speak, speak, be heard, ”she said.

She said it would also help women improve their speaking skills and become more confident.

“The more you do, the better you can speak. You will worry less and your skills and confidence will grow.

"It's important to address this early in your career as it is a way to accelerate your progress along the path to career success and achieving your goals."

Patricia Seabright is a speaking trainer and writer for She Said! A Millennial Women's Guide to Speaking and Listening published by Panoma Press on November 25th. It is priced at £ 14.99 and is available online and in all good bookstores.

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