ENTERTAINMENT

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews the television from last night


CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews on TV last night: If you think Coco Chanel is French for hot chocolate, you should miss this

You are what you wear

Rating:

What we do in the shade

Rating:

The closure brought about a great blessing for about half of the married population. The Saturday ritual of shopping for clothes was canceled.

The closure of the UK store has shown what most men have been telling their women for years: yes, dear, you already have enough clothes. And shoes.

Rylan Clark-Neal disagrees.

As the high street prepares for reopening, his latest series You Are What You Wear (BBC1) brings clothes rails into the British living room and calls on the stylists to give four confident members of the public a new face.

Rylan Clark-Neal (center-bottom) presents the latest season of You Are What You Wear on BBC1

Rylan Clark-Neal (center-bottom) presents the latest season of You Are What You Wear on BBC1

Honestly, I found it as boring as an hour before a John Lewis locker room, but this show has a target audience and I'm not.

If you're the type who thinks about football rather than fashion, if you hear the word "Milan" or vaguely assume that Coco Chanel is probably French for "hot chocolate", you already know that you should avoid this show.

But if you're a fashion fan who sees a pair of pointy faux leather high heels and gasps like a fashion fan did: "OMG, white stilettos, my dreams have come true," this could be a blissful piece of light television have been.

More by Christopher Stevens for the Daily Mail …

Four candidates were led into a room with a floor-to-ceiling mirror, and Rylan asked her in a sympathetic voice, "Tell me what you see."

What followed was a blizzard of cuts and montages interspersed with a squeak of excitement from the stylists. Weight lifter Manny was encouraged to exchange his sneakers for a pair of suede loafers with tassels and no socks.

He seemed excited. I wonder what they'll say in the gym.

Toilet paper seller Chris was concerned that the lack of anything other than black shirts and jeans in his closet made him look like an undertaker – and he should get married.

This "man in black" look always worked for Johnny Cash, but Chris was properly transformed and went home in a tweed suit, like an extra from Jeeves And Wooster.

Rylan threw jokes over his shoulder while the subject of Are You Being Served? trilled – and I realized who the ideal audience was. John Inman, who played the men's clothing assistant Mr. Humphries, would have loved this show. I am free!

Matt Berry stars in BBC2's What We Do In The Shadows, a suburban vampire cult comedy that returns for its second season

Matt Berry stars in BBC2's What We Do In The Shadows, a suburban vampire cult comedy that returns for its second season

It is not just the “non-essential businesses” that are making a comeback. So did suburban vampires with the second series of the cult comedy What We Do In The Shadows (BBC2).

This sitcom takes place on the outskirts of New York and plays Matt Berry and Natasia Demetriou as married blood suckers Laszlo and Nadja (a kind of undead Terry and June). It is based on a critically acclaimed New Zealand independent film.

After the excellent first season of the TV version, I went to the film – and, as so often, found that it wasn't a patch in the TV remake. Half-developed jokes on the big screen were worked out, expanded and accelerated in the sitcom.

Only a cinema snob could deny that this idea becomes much funnier on TV.

Natasisa Demtriou plays Nadja on the television show, which is based on a critically acclaimed New Zealand independent film starring Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi

Natasisa Demtriou plays Nadja on the television show, which is based on a critically acclaimed New Zealand independent film starring Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi

Kayvan Novak plays the couple's roommate, Nandor the Relentless, a genocidal maniac with a sentimental touch.

His human servant Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) is a descendant of the vampire hunter Van Helsing, who is increasingly drawn to the wooden posts and crucifixes.

I laughed out loud at Topher, the zombie who was fifty people until his arms fell off, and Benedict Wong as a necromancer who recited his magic in scat jazz.

The vampires will visit the Superb Owl next week. . . and I'll leave it up to you to sort it out.

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