ENTERTAINMENT

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night's TV


CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reports on TV last night: A whiskey for every day of the year – this is a real royal holiday!

Amazing hotels: life beyond the lobby

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Hayley leaves. . .

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You have to ask yourself what Her Majesty loves so much about it. Early next month, the Queen and Prince Philip will travel 400 miles to the banks of the River Dee and the Baronial Villa at Balmoral Castle.

Nobody could blame them if they are ready for a vacation after four months in Windsor. We all get itchy feet. But your vacation home is in the middle of the Cairngorms National Park, where hunting season is. . . for the mosquitoes.

While human visitors may hope to spy on a deer or salmon, billions of insects will be keen to eat people.

No wonder Meghan and Harry declined an invitation to visit last summer. The official excuse was that son Archie was too young to travel, although the queen likely noticed that her grandson and his wife took their baby to Africa and then Canada a few weeks later.

We had the opportunity to learn about Amazing Hotels: Life beyond the Lobby (BBC2) when moderators Monica Galetti and Giles Coren visited a five-star bunch at the hole that was almost identical to the royal getaway

We had the opportunity to learn about Amazing Hotels: Life beyond the Lobby (BBC2) when moderators Monica Galetti and Giles Coren visited a five-star bunch at the hole that was almost identical to the royal getaway

The rest of us wonder if the place with its towers and Victorian fireplaces can really be that bad.

We had the opportunity to learn about Amazing Hotels: Life beyond the Lobby (BBC2) when moderators Monica Galetti and Giles Coren visited a five-star bunch at the hole that was almost identical to the royal getaway. In the 1990s the Torridon on Scotland's romantic west coast was a fading guest house. Now it's a luxury hotel where the best rooms cost £ 600 a night and overlook fields of highland cattle.

Every morning the chef wades to Upper Loch Torridon to harvest seaweed, a delicacy of the kitchen. The mild climate means that grapes and even wasabi are grown under cover in the hotel gardens.

Giles and Monica played around like they normally do, like spoiled children on a school trip – and were always joking about cattle droppings and toilet seats.

The two bring out the grumpy schoolmaster in me: "Do you two think you're funny? I can tell you that it's not you."

They tried work experience, with Giles hopelessly failing as a waiter.

He sat down with the customers to take their order. The man is a restaurant critic, has he never noticed the etiquette? Maybe he won't spare the staff a look when he orders.

However, for those of us who have no earthly hope of being invited to Balmoral, this was an enticing glimpse of the Royals' vacation. But surely they don't have a bar like Torridon's with a different single malt whiskey for every day of the year. It's gin in the royal cupboard!

The girl from Maesteg in the Welsh valleys simply had fun with lessons in behavior and language

The girl from Maesteg in the Welsh valleys simply had fun with lessons in behavior and language

Chatterbox Hayley Pearce, who made a name for herself as a brazen tea lady seven years ago in the documentary The Call Center at Work, knows that she will never be a king, but still tried to improve by taking a class in Hayley Goes built up. . . (BBC1).

Some manufacturers had included a premise in the program that social mobility would be more restricted than ever in the 2020s. But Hayley didn't care.

The girl from Maesteg in the Welsh valleys simply had fun with lessons in behavior and language.

She claims she feels intimidated by Oxbridge guys with their cut vowels, but it's hard to imagine that the Ladette, whose friends they call "Fierce Pearce," will be intimidated by anyone. . . let alone a boyo with a pink face and a plum in the mouth.

Etiquette expert William Hanson, who was trying to teach her table manners, seemed frightened. "Gosh," he gasped as Hayley swallowed a whole cucumber sandwich. "You can get a lot in your mouth, can't you?"

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